How to calm (and even prevent) your child's nightmares
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Are your child's nightmares keeping you all awake? Learn what causes these bad dreams and 6 tips to help you calm your child and prevent them from happening in the future.
Nothing is more unsettling than waking up to your child screaming in the middle of the night. One minute, you’re fast asleep, and the next, you’re running down the hallway to see why your little one is sobbing hysterically. You open the door and find them wide-eyed and sweaty, crying about a scary dream they just had, and terrified to go back to sleep.
Nightmares are common for kids, but that doesn’t make them any easier to deal with. Watching your child try to cope with one is heartbreaking, and the post-nightmare bedtime battle can leave everyone exhausted.
So why do kids get nightmares? Is there a way to help them feel safe and still get some sleep yourself?
Here’s everything you need to know about why nightmares happen, at what point children start having them, and simple ways to help everyone settle down afterwards.
What causes nightmares in children?
We don’t have a definitive reason for nightmares, but some experts believe they’re the brain’s way of sorting through emotions and experiences. Think of them as chaotic therapy sessions.
And while nightmares can seem totally random—and they can be—there are factors that make them more likely. These include:
1. Stress and anxiety: Kids might not have work deadlines or bills to pay, but they do get stressed and anxious. Making new friends, dealing with sibling drama, or even just having a tough day at school can stir up big feelings — and nighttime fears. Because kids don’t always have the words to express their concerns, they can show up as nightmares instead.
2. Scary stories, TV shows, or movies: Kids have vivid imaginations, and what seems harmless during the day, like a slightly creepy character in a beloved TV show, can morph into something much scarier after dark.
3. Changes in routine: A new bedtime, a different sleep environment, or big life changes (like moving, a new sibling, or even switching babysitters) can shake your child’s sense of security. When things feel unfamiliar, their brain might react by serving up a nightmare.
4. Overtiredness: Ironically, the less sleep kids get, the more intensely their brains process dreams. This means nightmares can be even more vivid and disruptive.
5. Illness or fever: When kids are sick, their body temperature and brain activity change, sometimes leading to extra scary dreams.
6. An overactive imagination: Some kids are just wired to dream big, both literally and metaphorically. Highly imaginative kids might have more nightmares simply because their creativity doesn’t take a break at bedtime.
What ages do kids have nightmares?
Nightmares usually start around ages 2 to 3, when kids become more imaginative but also struggle to separate fantasy from reality. That’s why a dream about a giant talking spider might feel just as real as the bug they saw at the playground.
Nightmares peak between ages 3 and 6, when kids are learning about danger but don’t always grasp what’s real. A cartoon villain, an overheard conversation, or even a new bedtime story can become nightmare fuel. And because preschoolers have a tough time handling big emotions, stress often shows up in their dreams.
By ages 7 to 9, nightmares tend to fade as kids better understand that dreams aren’t real, though big life changes—like moving, school stress, or family transitions—can still trigger nightmares. Even tweens and teens aren’t immune, as anxiety and social pressures sometimes creep into their sleep.
If nightmares are still frequent past age 10 and disrupting daily life, it’s worth digging more deeply into what’s going on. An occasional bad dream is normal, but they shouldn’t make your child afraid to sleep.
How to help your child cope with nightmares: 6 calming tips
When your child wakes up screaming because of a nightmare, it can be tough to know how to support them. Here are a few simple, practical ways to help your child calm down after a nightmare and tips to reduce the chances of it happening again.
1. Offer immediate comfort
When your child has a nightmare, it can help to know that in the moment, logic is useless. Your child doesn’t care that it was just a dream — they care that their brain just convinced them a dinosaur was chasing them. The best thing you can do is be their safe place.
Try this:
Use a calm, soothing voice. Even if you’re half-asleep, try to sound steady and reassuring.
Offer physical comfort. Give hugs, back rubs, or let them hold onto their favorite stuffed animal.
Remind them that they’re safe, that you’re there, and that the dream isn’t real.
For some kids, fear may linger even after they wake up. If they need you to check under the bed or turn on the light, go for it. Sometimes, a quick “see, nothing’s there” can help them settle.
2. Help them separate dream from reality
Young kids have very active imaginations, and when they wake up from a nightmare, they truly believe it was real. Helping them reset their brain can make a big difference.
Try this:
Encourage them to describe something real, like their favorite stuffy, the color of their blanket, or the way their pillow feels. This helps ground them in the present. (Think of it as a form of the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise grounding exercise — a simple but effective way to help them calm down.)
If they’re scared that something is in their room, give them some control. Let them shine a flashlight in the closet or do a “monster sweep” under the bed.
If they’re old enough to understand, remind them that dreams are just stories our brains make up, and they’re not necessarily happening in real life.
💙 A breathing exercise might be just what they need to calm down after a nightmare. Practicing the Balloon Breath can help them relax and fall back asleep quickly.
3. Encourage a calming bedtime routine
A predictable, relaxing bedtime routine can help prevent nightmares by signaling to your child’s brain that it’s time to wind down, not stress out.
A solid bedtime routine might include:
A warm bath or shower
A calm story
A few minutes of gentle music or white noise
A cozy chat about their day, focused on the good parts
A few deep breaths to relax their body
The goal is to help them go to sleep feeling safe and secure, not wired and anxious. Here are 10 other dos and don’ts for your kids’ bedtime routine.
4. Use a comfort object
Some kids just need something to hold onto at night, such as a stuffy, a favorite blanket, or even a special pillow. Having a familiar, comforting object nearby can give them a sense of security, making it easier to fall back asleep after a nightmare.
For extra reassurance, you can get creative:
Give their stuffed animal a “protective job” (“Mr. Bear is on night watch — he’s got you covered!”)
Make a DIY “monster spray” (a spray bottle with lavender water) and let them spritz their room before bed.
Try a small nightlight if they’re scared of the dark, but make sure it’s dim enough to keep the room sleep-friendly.
5. Let them talk about it (but don’t dwell)
Some kids want to immediately dissect every detail of their nightmare, while others want to pretend it never happened. Follow their lead, but try not to let it become an all-night event.
If they do want to talk:
Listen, validate their feelings, and reassure them that nightmares aren’t real.
Keep it short and simple. The more you overanalyze, the more power the dream holds.
Redirect the conversation. Ask about something happy, like their favorite part of the day or what they want for breakfast.
If they don’t want to talk, that’s fine. Just remind them they’re safe and loved, and gently guide them back to sleep.
6. Adjust their sleep environment
Sometimes, small tweaks to their bedroom can make a big difference. A cozy, calming sleep space can lead to better sleep and fewer nightmares.
Try this:
Dim nightlight: If they’re afraid of the dark, this can ease that fear.
White noise or soft music: This helps to drown out nighttime noises that might trigger anxiety.
A slightly earlier bedtime: Overtired kids tend to have more intense dreams.
If your child is experiencing regular nightmares, it’s worthwhile to figure out a potential root cause. Are they watching shows that are too mature for them? Picking up on stress at home? Reading books that might be a little too intense? Cutting back on that type of content, especially right before bed, can help.
💙 White Noise can help turn your child’s bedroom into a sleep sanctuary, making it easier for them to rest peacefully.
When to see a doctor about your child’s nightmares
Most nightmares are nothing to worry about, but in rare cases, they can be a sign of something more significant. You might want to call your child’s pediatrician if:
The nightmares are happening very frequently and disrupting their sleep
Your child becomes afraid of bedtime and starts avoiding sleep
The nightmares involve extreme distress, fear, or trauma-related themes
You notice additional anxiety, behavioral changes, or sleepwalking
Child nightmares FAQs
Why do children get nightmares?
We aren’t totally sure why people dream—or have nightmares—but they might be one way for the brain to process emotions and new information. Children, especially young ones, have vivid imaginations, and they haven’t yet mastered the art of separating fantasy from reality. This makes them especially vulnerable to scary dreams.
In addition, stress, anxiety, major life changes, or even something as simple as an overly exciting bedtime story can all contribute to nightmares. The good news is, they’re a normal part of childhood and tend to become less frequent as kids grow. (If you’re interested in learning more about dreams in general, explore these 22 interesting dream facts.)
What's the difference between nightmares and night terrors?
Nightmares happen during REM sleep, and kids wake up scared but responsive. They usually remember what happened, and you can soothe them with cuddles and reassurance.
On the other hand, night terrors happen in deep sleep, and while kids may scream, thrash, or appear awake, they’re totally unaware of what’s going on. Trying to wake them up doesn’t help — and may even make things worse. And while night terrors look intense, kids won’t remember the episode in the morning. (They’re also not usually a cause for concern unless they happen a lot or lead to sleepwalking.)
How do I stop my child from having nightmares?
You can’t totally eliminate nightmares, but you can make them less likely. Avoid scary shows, wild playtime, or a big emotional conversation before bed, and institute a consistent, calming bedtime routine to help your little one settle in. This could include a warm bath, a book or two, and a few cuddles. A comfort object (like a favorite stuffy), white noise, or a dim nightlight can provide extra reassurance.
Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, because overtiredness can lead to more nightmares. If stress or anxiety seems to be a trigger, encourage them to talk about their feelings during the day, instead of bottling them up until bedtime.
Are there mindfulness techniques that can help calm my kid after a nightmare?
Yes. Deep breathing techniques like “blow out the birthday candles” (slowly exhaling like they’re blowing out candles on a cake) can help slow your child’s heart rate. Physical comfort, like rubbing their back or holding their hand, signals safety.
Guided imagery works too. Ask them to imagine floating on a cloud or snuggling in a cozy fort. Some kids even like to “rewrite” the nightmare, turning the scary monster into a silly, friendly one. Whatever you do, your goal should be to make them feel safe and back in control.
When should I be concerned about my child's nightmares?
Most nightmares are not concerning, but if they happen frequently, cause extreme bedtime anxiety, or disrupt your child’s daily life, it might be worth checking in with a doctor. Pay attention to themes — are the nightmares unusually dark or distressing? Are they linked to real-life fears or past trauma?
If your child is actively avoiding sleep or showing signs of anxiety throughout the day, it’s a sign they may need extra support. Trust your gut. If something feels off, reach out for help.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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